Okay, you’re going to need a little background to appreciate this story…

Over on Cracked, we don’t use smilies, 1337, acronyms, none of that. That’s actually my preference, but as anyone who’s spent more than about three nanoseconds on the internet could tell you, you sometimes need to be able to indicate sarcasm. A user named Nedroid drew up this little horse (to the top right in this post), whose name is Biscuits, to indicate the presence of sarcasm. Auntie Meme animated him, someone else (sorry, don’t know who) threw a prettier version in and ClydeM even made an actual biscuit prancing around. At this point any animated horse over there pretty much means “Biscuits”, and that someone’s being a wiseass.

So there’s a little store that I stop at sometimes on my way to work. (Anywhere else, this store would actually be called a bodega, but this is Oregon and we don’t use furriner words like “bodega” around here.) They have a sign in the window saying “Now Serving Biscuits & Gravy”. Let’s just ignore for a moment the fact that some run-down, low-rent convenience store is selling biscuits & gravy. Surprisingly, that’s NOT the joke.

Because of our little horse, every time I see that, I read it as “Sarcasm & Gravy”. So I thought that it would would make a good photoshop if I changed the sign to read “Sarcasm & Gravy”. I stopped in with my wife the other day, saw the sign and asked her, “Do you have your camera on ya?” “Yeah.” “Ya wanna get a picture of the Biscuits & Gravy sign for me while I grab some smokes?” “Sure”.   …and the midget woman behind the counter starts FREAKIN’. THE. FUCK. OUT. You’d have thought it was a nuclear secret I was smuggling out of Los Alamos. “YOU CAN’T TAKE PICTURES HERE!!!”

So NOW I have to try to explain this whole story to this woman, who I think speaks about 100 words of English (OK, maybe 125). She’s mad all the way until the end, at which point I suddenly see the little light bulb pop on in her head, and she says… “So The Internet wants a picture of the sign?”

Yes.

Yes, lady, The Internet wants it. And they’ve assigned me to go get it for them. Do you really wanna screw with The Internet?

Yeah, I didn’t think so.

Back off. I know The Internet. Personally.

…so now you know the inspiration behind the new blog’s name.