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“Unlikely” & “Improbable”

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My entire existence can be classed as a bunch of components¬† best described as “unlikely” or “improbable”.¬† I’m a blue-eyed Indian. I watched my grandmother graduate from high school, and I was best man at my parents’ wedding. I’m balding, yet I have more hair on my head than most women I meet (Yes, I know, I need to cut it soon, before it becomes a full-blown skullet).

Skullet

Pictured: The only man to successfully pull this look off.

 

My wife is so insanely beautiful that she actually lends credibility to the old sitcom trope that a woman like Leah Remini or Courtney Thorne-Smith would settle for some troll with the talent level of a second-best Belushi brother. And, oh, the fun doesn’t stop there. She was raised Mormon. You know, the guys who believe Indians killed another “tribe of Israel” living in North America, and as punishment, God “darkened our skin and degraded our existence” (Wow, he’s slipping. A little extra melanin? . That’s what you’re down to?).

Try harder next time

 

One of the first pieces of “art” I was paid for was a few ANSIs for a friend of a friend, named Seth Able Robinson, 18-year-old who lived in the next hick town over and was coding a game. My friend Shady Bones was supposed to do them, but he got pneumonia or some such gack and couldn’t complete all of them. I did them as a favor to Shady, but then talked Seth out of a Pentium 75 for it. Yep, that’s right, bitches, a P75! (For reference, under the same numbering system, my computer now would be a P3500.) I laughed all the way home at my serious negotiation skills.

Those of you who are old enough to remember the old BBS systems might have pricked up at that name. He didn’t use his last name for the game, just Seth Able. The game was the legendary L.O.R.D., Legend Of The Red Dragon. Seth made a million dollars in about a year and ended up retiring to Hiroshima (itself, unlikely and improbable. Who the hell does that?).

P75 Comparison

But I got that sweet, sweet P75. I’m such a shark.

 

I’ve tried, seen success on the horizon, and then eventually failed in many different “cool” occupations… musician, mixer, stand-up comic, mixed-up comedy musician, astronaut (I might be full of shit on that last one). So I really tend not to count my chickens before they hatch.

That said, this site seems to be striking a chord. There’s a company called Alexa that ranks the traffic of websites, kinda like a Nielsen rating for the web. Since they measure in 3-month chunks so as to better reflect an average, we didn’t expect to be ranked until we’d actually been open….wait for it… for three months. Well, we received our first ranking about a week and a half ago… #11 million something.

So, that was fun, looking at it and seeing our ranking from the days when I hadn’t even opened the beta yet (which, I’ll remind you, we’re still in). As a matter of fact, it seemed a little high. Google tells me there’s 300 million dotcoms with active content, which starts us off in the upper 3% or so. As I told the team, I guess there’s a LOT of shitty blogs and deserted company websites that no one EVER goes to. So we laughed, had some complimentary “WE’RE NUMBER 11 MILLIONTH!” posts between members of the team.

I woke up the next day, and we’d jumped 5 million places. The rate has slowed, but it continues every day, and it’s usually a pretty substantial jump. Today, we broke the 2 million mark. 1,995,273.

So… is this place poised to become the preeminent hangout for Photoshop humor and Photoshop tutorials?

Unlikely. Improbable. And I’m comfortable as hell with that.


 
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4 Comments


  • #1
    BlondeFury
    05/14/2012 5:40 pm

    Now I wanna do the time warp…again!


  • #2
    madmann
    05/15/2012 7:18 pm

    My two daughters used to watch RHPS and dance along like it was the Wiggles when they were 3-6.

    That either makes me a terrible parent or the most awesome dad ever, I’m not sure which.

    aerodynamite replied:

    The latter.


  • #3
    AuntieMeme
    05/16/2012 1:32 pm

    It’s just a jump to the left.


  • #4
    beefybooyawn
    09/16/2012 5:42 am

    You’re wet.

    Great piece, and congrats on the ranking.


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